10 Ways to Ruin Eragon's Holidays
by SMARTALIENQT
Summary: The long-awaited -OK, a couple days awaited- sequel to “10 Ways to Ruin Durza’s Holidays”, with added bonus. R&R! Flames will be used to send smoke signals to the Klingons, who are now poised over your house with a high-tech laser beam. by SMARTALIENQT


**Title:** 10 Ways To Ruin Eragon's Holidays

**Author:** SMARTALIENQT

**Summary:** The long-awaited (OK, a couple days awaited) sequel to "10 Ways to Ruin Durza's Holidays", with added bonus. Flames will be used to send smoke signals to the Klingons, who currently are poised over your house with a high-tech laser beam.

**Disclaimer:** I, SMARTALIENQT, resident of 99 Olympus Mons Rd., Ha-ha, Nottelling, Mars, do solemnly swear that I am not, nor do I work for, know, or have any affiliation with, Christopher Poalini, the staff of _Eragon: The Movie_, the creators of _Eragon: The Movie_, the actors of _Eragon: The Movie_, or the producers, janitors, set crew, tech support, or advertisers of _Eragon: The Movie_. I am also getting absolutely no money off of this, so if you want to dispute rights with me, you can go and relieve the swelling of your head by soaking it, or, failing that, take a nice running leap into a lake. Should you wish to partake in kite flying afterwards, I will strongly encourage you with a stout right boot.

* * *

**10 Ways To Ruin Eragon's Holidays**

10. Harness Saphira to a sled.

9. When he asks why Saphira is acting as your chauffer, look surprised and say that the large blue thing was lean and lank, and misfortune seemed her lot.

8. When he looks puzzled, start singing "Jingle Bells" as loudly as you can, in high operatic soprano, using every obscure verse, the Batman version, and the chorus in between each.

7. Spike his eggnog with mead.

6. Tie him to a chair and have him watch _Eragon: The Movie_, with running commentary by you saying how hot Murtagh is and how bad Eragon looks when played by Edward Speelers.

5. Hypnotize him into thinking he is a French pastry.

4. Order him to skip around the room while singing this song:

_I am a flaky, buttery, pastr-y_

_I come from an awesome French baker-y_

_I'm fluffy, I'm light_

_I fill your app-e-tiiiiiiiiiite _

_La la la la la_

_I'm topped with a lot of cinn-a-mon_

_I know, you can't deny it, man_

_I am a flaky, buttery, pastr-y_

_I come from an awesome French baker-y_

3. Film it and post it on Youtube under the title "Riders Gone Wild".

2. Or, in the absence of a Youtube account, make copies of it and sell it to the Urgals, Durza, Galbatorix, and Arya. Definitely Arya.

1. Send this list to everyone you know. Especially Arya.

* * *

_Oh, crap_, thought Eragon, as he ran through the halls. It was his holiday time (hey, the _only_ time he ever got time off, what with the war and whatever), and it had been ABSOLUTELY RUINED!! First he had tried to get practice in, but _nooo_, Saphira was harnessed to a sled. He still had that god-awful song stuck in his head. _Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg_- NO! he couldn't think about it. _Must… not… think… of… annoying… song... _he thought furiously. Of course, thinking about not thinking about something was rather stupid, because it just made you keep thinking about the thing you were trying not to think about.

Then things had gotten hazy for a bit. He remembered wondering why his eggnog tasted better than normal, and why he sounded like a dragon, but after that his memories were filled with floating croissants and buttery, cinnamony puffs. He had a bad feeling about it, but couldn't remember what it was. He had a feeling it had something to do with someone named Edward, but that was the most he could dredge up from his meaded memories.

He had heard shouting down the hall, and saw Arya, a few Urgals, Murtagh, and various members of the Varden laughing at something square and white with strange white strings protruding from it. There was an image on the screen, and it was moving. It was… _him?!_ Eragon watched in horror as he saw himself skipping around, singing– AHH!!

A/N: I sincerely hope this satisfies Anon., whoever you are. And special thanks go to my little sister, who wrote The Pastry Song. So R&R, readers! Thank you for the wonderful reviews last time, and hopefully you will like this one as much as I liked writing it.


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